Francis Bacon - The Essays 1601
OF PARENTS AND CHILDREN
The joys of parents are secret;
and so are their griefs and fears.
They cannot utter the one;
nor they will not utter the other. Children sweeten labors;
but they make misfortunes more bitter.
They increase the cares of life;
but they mitigate the remembrance of death.
The perpetuity by generation
is common to beasts; but memory, merit, and noble works,
are proper to men.
And surely a man
shall see the noblest
works and foundations have
proceeded from childless men,
which have sought to
express the images of their minds,
where those of their bodies have failed.
So the care of
posterity is most in them,
that have no posterity.
They that are the
first raisers of their houses,
are most indulgent towards their children;
beholding them as the continuance,
not only of their kind,
but of their work;
and so both children and creatures.
The difference in affection,
of parents towards their several children,
is many times unequal; and sometimes unworthy;
especially in the mothers; as Solomon saith,
A wise son rejoiceth the father,
but an ungracious son shames the mother.
A man shall see,
where there is a
house full of children,
one or two of the eldest respected,
and the youngest made wantons;
but in the midst,
some that are as it were forgotten, who many times, nevertheless, prove the best.
The illiberality of parents,
in allowance towards their children,
is an harmful error; makes them base;
acquaints them with shifts;
makes them sort with mean company;
and makes them surfeit
more when they come to plenty.
And therefore the proof is best,
when men keep their
authority towards the children,
but not their purse.
Men have a foolish manner (both
parents and schoolmasters and servants)
in creating and breeding
an emulation between brothers, during childhood,
which many times sorteth
to discord when they are men, and disturbeth families.
The Italians make little difference between children,
and nephews or near kinsfolks;
but so they be of the lump,
they care not though
they pass not through their own body. And, to say truth,
in nature it is
much a like matter;
insomuch that we see
a nephew sometimes resembleth an uncle, or a kinsman,
more than his own parent;
as the blood happens.
Let parents choose betimes,
the vocations and courses
they mean their children should take;
for then they are most flexible;
and let them not
too much apply themselves
to the disposition of their children,
as thinking they will
take best to that,
which they have most mind to. It is true,
that if the affection
or aptness of the children be extraordinary,
then it is good
not to cross it;
but generally the precept is good, optimum elige,
suave et facile illud faciet consuetudo.
Younger brothers are commonly fortunate,
but seldom or never
where the elder are disinherited.
- Impressum -