Francis Bacon - The Essays 1601
OF MARRIAGE AND SINGLE LIFE
He that hath wife
and children hath given hostages to fortune;
for they are impediments to great enterprises,
either of virtue or mischief.
Certainly the best works,
and of greatest merit for the public,
have proceeded from the
unmarried or childless men;
which both in affection and means,
have married and endowed the public.
Yet it were great
reason that those that have children,
should have greatest care of future times;
unto which they know
they must transmit their dearest pledges. Some there are,
who though they lead a single life,
yet their thoughts do end with themselves,
and account future times impertinences. Nay,
there are some other,
that account wife and children,
but as bills of charges. Nay more,
there are some foolish
rich covetous men that take a pride,
in having no children,
because they may be
thought so much the richer.
For perhaps they have heard some talk,
Such an one is
a great rich man,
and another except to it, Yea,
but he hath a
great charge of children;
as if it were
an abatement to his riches.
But the most ordinary
cause of a single life, is liberty,
especially in certain self-pleasing and humorous minds,
which are so sensible of every restraint,
as they will go
near to think their girdles and garters,
to be bonds and shackles.
Unmarried men are best friends, best masters, best servants;
but not always best subjects;
for they are light to run away;
and almost all fugitives,
are of that condition.
A single life doth well with churchmen;
for charity will hardly water the ground,
where it must first fill a pool.
It is indifferent for judges and magistrates;
for if they be facile and corrupt,
you shall have a servant,
five times worse than a wife. For soldiers,
I find the generals
commonly in their hortatives,
put men in mind
of their wives and children;
and I think the
despising of marriage amongst the Turks,
maketh the vulgar soldier more base.
Certainly wife and children
are a kind of discipline of humanity; and single men,
though they may be
many times more charitable,
because their means are less exhaust, yet,
on the other side,
they are more cruel and hardhearted (good
to make severe inquisitors),
because their tenderness is
not so oft called upon. Grave natures, led by custom, and therefore constant,
are commonly loving husbands,
as was said of Ulysses,
vetulam suam praetulit immortalitati.
Chaste women are often proud and froward,
as presuming upon the
merit of their chastity.
It is one of the best bonds,
both of chastity and obedience, in the wife,
if she think her husband wise;
which she will never do,
if she find him jealous.
Wives are young men's mistresses;
companions for middle age; and old men's nurses.
So as a man
may have a quarrel to marry, when he will.
But yet he was
reputed one of the wise men,
that made answer to the question,
when a man should marry,-
A young man not yet,
an elder man not at all.
It is often seen that bad husbands,
have very good wives; whether it be,
that it raiseth the
price of their husband's kindness, when it comes;
or that the wives
take a pride in their patience.
But this never fails,
if the bad husbands
were of their own choosing, against their friends' consent;
for then they will
be sure to make
good their own folly.
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